i'm an idiot

sometimes i think i'm a really really good parent...

i don't back down....i set boundaries and rules....i play with my son (really play-car sounds and all)...i make sure he gets balanced meals but give him treats too....i let him get messy and try not to care..

then you get times like these that i feel like an idiot and i am not fit to care for a monkey....

3 weeks ago Callum started crying when we put him to bed..really crying (20 min plus) so we agreed to rock him to sleep one night...then night after night he kept crying at bed time..i found that i could just sit w. him in his room to fall asleep and magic! no tears!! well bedtime soon turned into naps as well so i found myself not letting him soothe himself to sleep like he was used to but easing him into it every day and night by basically holding his hand and slipping out of the room, scooting out of the room and i even have laid down completely flat and inched out just so he wouldn't see me! ( i still can't believe i did that)...during all of this he began waking up in the middle of the night too! so here i was like i was coddling a newborn easing him to sleep 3-4 times a night!! gahhh..what is it, molars? nightmares? separation anxiety?

no. it took my single friend without a child and most importantly an objective person to say i had erased all of my hard work from when Callum was 5 months and we taught him to self soothe...here was my 19 month old needing me to soothe him to sleep :( epic fail.

so we started CIO on Sunday...happy to report he hasn't woken up in the middle of the night since then and it's Wednesday...crying started at 1 hour to 30 minutes to 15, to 10 and now just around 6 minutes. only setback is he fell asleep in my arms for his nap today still holding his car..LOL..i seriously put him down while he was still clutching his car!

I guess we go through these things to be reminded that we are always learning and to be consistent because hard work can very quickly be erased. I've also learned to lean on my friends more because sometimes a problem just needs a fresh set of eyes. thanks aunt jen!!!