The good, the bad and the completely unexpected

I have worked my entire adult life and loved it...i would actually enjoy getting dressed up and riding the T and feeling like I had a purpose and enjoyed meeting new people and actually met one of my best friends through work...I can honestly say i never thought i'd end up where I am now, as a stay-at-home mom. Now i try my best to keep an 18 month old entertained enough to feel like i am accomplishing something....below is a fine example...homemade finger painting.



I love that i don't have to wake my son up to get ready for daycare, I love that he rarely gets sick (no more pin worms, pink eye and runny noses for us thank you very much) and I love that I spend more time with him than I do at work. Since i've been with him he has given up his binky, started sitting at the table to eat with us (no more baby high chairs for us!) and rarely needs his lovey blanket....overall he's a much happier little boy and I can see that every single day..

I dislike that I rarely get a break, I am very worried that he doesn't get much interaction from other children and I'm terrified that I won't be able to teach him what he will need to learn. I'm also secretly terrified that because i watch so much t.v that i'm doing permanent damage to him. The main issue is that I get one shot to make him a good person....to take some credit or i guess take the blame if and when things go terribly wrong...I don't want to pass down bad traits that I inherited..#1 being my sometimes short fuse and tendency to yell...that's been passed down for 3 generations and truly hope i can stop for my grandchildren's sake.

I did not expect to gain 10 lbs. I never in my wildest dreams thought i would get more excercise in my working days but i must have because here I am...walking daily, I thought I was eating better but when i go to put on my summer clothes. tight. uncomfortable tight. 10 lbs. i have no idea how it happened. I did not expect to have so many moments with him where I feel so completely fulfilled and blissfully happy. Yesterday he was covered in slobber and we wrestled on the floor with callum trying to kiss me and get the slop all over me. we both laughed until it hurt...I did not expect to also feel so defeated sometimes.

It it stay-at-home mom code to always be grateful for the opportunity and I am, truly. I am a blessed woman to have a husband I love more than the day I married him and a son i would do anything for...I guess working and parenting both has its ups and downs and we have to learn everyday....guess we'll see what today holds!! We're going to try to go to our first movie together!! god i feel bad for the other kids at Tower City cinemas today!!!